THR: Did Bieber punk you?
Shepard: No no, I was directing an episode.
McHale: Did Bieber give you notes?
Shepard: Bieber wasn’t around. But it’s funny – I know you’re joking, but I sincerely ended up on that show because of Bieber. Because I saw the documentary, fell so in love with him from the documentary, called Jason Goldberg and said, ‘I heard Bieber is going to be your host on Punk’d, I want to pass him the torch.’ He said awesome, we’ll do that. Then I ended up in an episode by myself, no Bieber.
THR: He showed you up.
Shepard: He didn’t show me up. I just got bamboozled by the brass at Punk’d. I got promised an episode with Bieber. But now I hate Bieber because he rented a house behind our house, and now there’s parties nonstop, and now there are paparazzi living everywhere around us.
McHale: Man, Dax, you guys have problems.
Shepard: We have big, big problems.
McHale: This reminds me of the people in Damascus who were being shot at while trying to buy milk.
Shepard: Yeah, quite similar. On par, for sure.
McHale: Did he really rent behind you?
Shepard: Yeah, it sounds like a trivial concern. But if you heard Bieber fans partying from midnight til four AM every night of the week, it really starts wearing on you. So I’m no longer a Bieber fan.
THR: You would think most of his fans have curfews.
McHale: You must live in a pretty incredible neighborhood to have the Biebs behind you.
Shepard: Yeah, I live in a nice neighborhood.
McHale: I saw your wife at Gelson’s [supermarket], and she lectured me about getting plastic bags.
Shepard: She did. That’s very her.
McHale: Totally lectured me.
Shepard: She was probably carrying around our big, green Costco bags.
McHale: Yeah, and I think I had a whole roasted chicken, and I was like, would you like some? And she said no, I’m a vegetarian, and I’m like, there’s a surprise!
Shepard: Do you live by there?
McHale: I live right above there.
Shepard: What’s your address?
McHale: Canyon. They found that head and hand in the park.
THR: Were you a suspect?
McHale: Look, I got fingered if you know what I mean, I was of interest – while I was being fingered.
Shepard: But never directly implicated.
McHale: But your life is lovely, let me say that.
Shepard: She’s the greatest of all time.
McHale: That run she did on [Late Late Show with Craig] Ferguson was awesome, in Paris.
Shepard: I think she’s been on that show now in the 40s. She’s done on the show like 40-something times.
McHale: It makes me mad at Craig now because I haven’t been on that much.
Shepard: I’ve only been on two or three times.
THR: He’s an elitist?
Shepard: No, he’s a perv. He just likes young, hot girls.
McHale: Whoa. I don’t know what’s pervy about that.